Small Forever

It was such a beautiful day today. When the kids got up from their naps, I let them go outside to play while I finished cleaning up from lunch and doing some laundry. I stepped out on the porch to check on them and Asher came running, “Mommy! Are you coming out to play with us?” “Not right now Asher,” I said. “I have some things I have to take care of in here.” I caught a glimpse of disappointment in his eyes, but he quickly turned around and ran off to play. As I finished up the last few things in the house I scooped up the baby and went out to sit and watch them play. What a sight! My little, dirty-kneed boys building a pretend campfire with their trucks all parked around it, “To keep them warm.” Searching endlessly to find the perfect “Little Ninja House.” I watched as the breeze blew though Annie’s hair. It’s hard to believe that her hair is long enough for that now. Sailer was laying on a blanket, chewing on her toys, oblivious to all the noise around her.

After a little while, it was time to get ready for church. I cleaned faces, changed diapers and headed to the door. I hadn’t realized how important it was for me to have sat quietly and watch them play until Asher took my hand, with the sweetest little grin, and said, “Thank you for coming outside with us. You look so beautiful! I love you, Mommy.” We went on to church.

Anyone who goes to church with kids on a Wednesday night, or any night for that matter, knows just how hectic it can be. First there was a fellowship dinner during which Isaac decided to use the table as his personal jungle gym, Annie filled her cup of water with Mac & Cheese, and Asher, who saw his friends nearby, was biting at the bit to go play downstairs. After clearing our trash from the table, we weaved our way through people eating their dinner, stopping to talk to some friends on the way out. I did a quick head count to make sure we weren’t missing anyone, and we finally made it downstairs and took all of the kids to their classes. At that point there was a very short amount of time before we went to pick them all up again, helped them up the stairs and out the door, navigated the parking lot and buckled them all into their seats. Needless to say, by the time we got home everyone was worn out.

After coaxing them all to the door, listening to crying because they have to take their shoes off, and wrangling them into jammies, Asher, Isaac and Annie all decided that they needed a snuggle in my lap. Asher was very upset because when Isaac tried to squeeze in he was pushed to the side. I said, “Asher, you are getting so big. It won’t be long and you won’t fit anymore. You guys need to go hop in your beds and Daddy and I will be right there.” They all stood up and Asher fell apart. He slumped back into my lap bawling. I said, “Asher what is wrong?” My big boy that is constantly talking about when he is a grown-up said to me, “I don’t ever want to turn five, I want to stay small forever so that I can always fit in your lap and have snuggles!” It was all I could do to finish tucking them into bed without crying. How precious these moments are. I am so grateful to God to have been given the great responsibility and privilege of spending each and every day teaching and being taught, loving and being loved by these incredible little people that call me Mommy.